Somewhere along the way, I picked up the remote to my life and just pressed pause for everything; blogging, school and even as far as friends. Confining myself to isolation seemed to be my only coherent language recently and unfortunately as far as mostly blogging goes, that pause button is still on (I have stepped up my revision game just a little because of mocks and now that I am back at school, I am surrounded by friends).
And if I back track, I have no recollection of picking up the remote or my finger toying with the idea of pressing that button. As unplanned and impromptu this break has been, it has allowed me to have a word with myself. I have exams in June that will get me into the uni of my dreams and allow me to start the life I have so longingly coveted. My blog is something I want to grow and want it to be a specifically tailored space to match my personality and me the human being. And I want to spend what time I have left with my friends and soak up every last hour with them because before you know it we will be going our separate ways.
So although pressing pause may be disheartening to some of my dedicated blog readers, I believe fate forced my hand to press that magic button with consequences that are only revealed once in that idle state.
Now I aim to challenge myself this year. To become who I wanted and find my solid ground on this earth. I want to be happy and comfortable in my own skin. Perhaps once I stop rejecting it, I will learn to love some part of me. But also, I want to be the opportunist whilst a realist. Snatch that glass of water away from the pessimist and drink it for myself. Because what would life be without a little risk?
Big things are happening and in order for that to register with my on and off brain, pressing pause seems like a smart idea. Don’t let the drumming noise of expectations drown you out.
Have you taken a well-deserved break recently?